Two Gentlemen of Verona

Players:

ACT I

ACT I, SCENE I. Verona. An open place.

[Enter VALENTINE and PROTEUS]

  • VALENTINE:

  • Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:
  • Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.
  • Were't not affection chains thy tender days
  • To the sweet glances of thy honour'd love,
  • I rather would entreat thy company
  • To see the wonders of the world abroad,
  • Than, living dully sluggardized at home,
  • Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.
  • But since thou lovest, love still and thrive therein,
  • Even as I would when I to love begin.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu!
  • Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest
  • Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel:
  • Wish me partaker in thy happiness
  • When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,
  • If ever danger do environ thee,
  • Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
  • For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.
  • VALENTINE:

  • And on a love-book pray for my success?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee.
  • VALENTINE:

  • That's on some shallow story of deep love:
  • How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont.
  • PROTEUS:

  • That's a deep story of a deeper love:
  • For he was more than over shoes in love.
  • VALENTINE:

  • 'Tis true; for you are over boots in love,
  • And yet you never swum the Hellespont.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots.
  • VALENTINE:

  • No, I will not, for it boots thee not.
  • PROTEUS:

  • What?
  • VALENTINE:

  • To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans;
  • Coy looks with heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth
  • With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights:
  • If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
  • If lost, why then a grievous labour won;
  • However, but a folly bought with wit,
  • Or else a wit by folly vanquished.
  • PROTEUS:

  • So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.
  • VALENTINE:

  • So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove.
  • PROTEUS:

  • 'Tis love you cavil at: I am not Love.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Love is your master, for he masters you:
  • And he that is so yoked by a fool,
  • Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud
  • The eating canker dwells, so eating love
  • Inhabits in the finest wits of all.
  • VALENTINE:

  • And writers say, as the most forward bud
  • Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,
  • Even so by love the young and tender wit
  • Is turn'd to folly, blasting in the bud,
  • Losing his verdure even in the prime
  • And all the fair effects of future hopes.
  • But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee,
  • That art a votary to fond desire?
  • Once more adieu! my father at the road
  • Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd.
  • PROTEUS:

  • And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.
  • To Milan let me hear from thee by letters
  • Of thy success in love, and what news else
  • Betideth here in absence of thy friend;
  • And likewise will visit thee with mine.
  • PROTEUS:

  • All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!
  • VALENTINE:

  • As much to you at home! and so, farewell.
  • [Exit]

  • PROTEUS:

  • He after honour hunts, I after love:
  • He leaves his friends to dignify them more,
  • I leave myself, my friends and all, for love.
  • Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me,
  • Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,
  • War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
  • Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.
  • [Enter SPEED]

  • SPEED:

  • Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?
  • PROTEUS:

  • But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan.
  • SPEED:

  • Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,
  • And I have play'd the sheep in losing him.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,
  • An if the shepherd be a while away.
  • SPEED:

  • You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,
  • and I a sheep?
  • PROTEUS:

  • I do.
  • SPEED:

  • Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.
  • PROTEUS:

  • A silly answer and fitting well a sheep.
  • SPEED:

  • This proves me still a sheep.
  • PROTEUS:

  • True; and thy master a shepherd.
  • SPEED:

  • Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.
  • PROTEUS:

  • It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another.
  • SPEED:

  • The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the
  • shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks
  • not me: therefore I am no sheep.
  • PROTEUS:

  • The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the
  • shepherd for food follows not the sheep: thou for
  • wages followest thy master; thy master for wages
  • follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep.
  • SPEED:

  • Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.'
  • PROTEUS:

  • But, dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter to Julia?
  • SPEED:

  • Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her,
  • a laced mutton, and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a
  • lost mutton, nothing for my labour.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons.
  • SPEED:

  • If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Nay: in that you are astray, 'twere best pound you.
  • SPEED:

  • Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for
  • carrying your letter.
  • PROTEUS:

  • You mistake; I mean the pound,--a pinfold.
  • SPEED:

  • From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over,
  • 'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to
  • your lover.
  • PROTEUS:

  • But what said she?
  • SPEED:

  • [First nodding]

  • Ay.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Nod--Ay--why, that's noddy.
  • SPEED:

  • You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask
  • me if she did nod; and I say, 'Ay.'
  • PROTEUS:

  • And that set together is noddy.
  • SPEED:

  • Now you have taken the pains to set it together,
  • take it for your pains.
  • PROTEUS:

  • No, no; you shall have it for bearing the letter.
  • SPEED:

  • Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Why sir, how do you bear with me?
  • SPEED:

  • Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly; having nothing
  • but the word 'noddy' for my pains.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.
  • SPEED:

  • And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Come come, open the matter in brief: what said she?
  • SPEED:

  • Open your purse, that the money and the matter may
  • be both at once delivered.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Well, sir, here is for your pains. What said she?
  • SPEED:

  • Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Why, couldst thou perceive so much from her?
  • SPEED:

  • Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no,
  • not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter:
  • and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I
  • fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling your
  • mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as
  • hard as steel.
  • PROTEUS:

  • What said she? nothing?
  • SPEED:

  • No, not so much as 'Take this for thy pains.' To
  • testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned
  • me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your
  • letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck,
  • Which cannot perish having thee aboard,
  • Being destined to a drier death on shore.
  • [Exit SPEED]

  • I must go send some better messenger:
  • I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,
  • Receiving them from such a worthless post.
  • [Exit]

ACT I, SCENE II. The same. Garden of JULIA's house.

[Enter JULlA and LUCETTA]

  • JULIA:

  • But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
  • Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.
  • JULIA:

  • Of all the fair resort of gentlemen
  • That every day with parle encounter me,
  • In thy opinion which is worthiest love?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mind
  • According to my shallow simple skill.
  • JULIA:

  • What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?
  • LUCETTA:

  • As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;
  • But, were I you, he never should be mine.
  • JULIA:

  • What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so.
  • JULIA:

  • What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us!
  • JULIA:

  • How now! what means this passion at his name?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Pardon, dear madam: 'tis a passing shame
  • That I, unworthy body as I am,
  • Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.
  • JULIA:

  • Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Then thus: of many good I think him best.
  • JULIA:

  • Your reason?
  • LUCETTA:

  • I have no other, but a woman's reason;
  • I think him so because I think him so.
  • JULIA:

  • And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.
  • JULIA:

  • Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Yet he, of all the rest, I think, best loves ye.
  • JULIA:

  • His little speaking shows his love but small.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Fire that's closest kept burns most of all.
  • JULIA:

  • They do not love that do not show their love.
  • LUCETTA:

  • O, they love least that let men know their love.
  • JULIA:

  • I would I knew his mind.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Peruse this paper, madam.
  • JULIA:

  • 'To Julia.' Say, from whom?
  • LUCETTA:

  • That the contents will show.
  • JULIA:

  • Say, say, who gave it thee?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus.
  • He would have given it you; but I, being in the way,
  • Did in your name receive it: pardon the
  • fault I pray.
  • JULIA:

  • Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!
  • Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines?
  • To whisper and conspire against my youth?
  • Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth
  • And you an officer fit for the place.
  • Or else return no more into my sight.
  • LUCETTA:

  • To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.
  • JULIA:

  • Will ye be gone?
  • LUCETTA:

  • That you may ruminate.
  • [Exit]

  • JULIA:

  • And yet I would I had o'erlooked the letter:
  • It were a shame to call her back again
  • And pray her to a fault for which I chid her.
  • What a fool is she, that knows I am a maid,
  • And would not force the letter to my view!
  • Since maids, in modesty, say 'no' to that
  • Which they would have the profferer construe 'ay.'
  • Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love
  • That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse
  • And presently all humbled kiss the rod!
  • How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
  • When willingly I would have had her here!
  • How angerly I taught my brow to frown,
  • When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!
  • My penance is to call Lucetta back
  • And ask remission for my folly past.
  • What ho! Lucetta!
  • [Re-enter LUCETTA]

  • LUCETTA:

  • What would your ladyship?
  • JULIA:

  • Is't near dinner-time?
  • LUCETTA:

  • I would it were,
  • That you might kill your stomach on your meat
  • And not upon your maid.
  • JULIA:

  • What is't that you took up so gingerly?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Nothing.
  • JULIA:

  • Why didst thou stoop, then?
  • LUCETTA:

  • To take a paper up that I let fall.
  • JULIA:

  • And is that paper nothing?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Nothing concerning me.
  • JULIA:

  • Then let it lie for those that it concerns.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Madam, it will not lie where it concerns
  • Unless it have a false interpeter.
  • JULIA:

  • Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
  • LUCETTA:

  • That I might sing it, madam, to a tune.
  • Give me a note: your ladyship can set.
  • JULIA:

  • As little by such toys as may be possible.
  • Best sing it to the tune of 'Light o' love.'
  • LUCETTA:

  • It is too heavy for so light a tune.
  • JULIA:

  • Heavy! belike it hath some burden then?
  • LUCETTA:

  • Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.
  • JULIA:

  • And why not you?
  • LUCETTA:

  • I cannot reach so high.
  • JULIA:

  • Let's see your song. How now, minion!
  • LUCETTA:

  • Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:
  • And yet methinks I do not like this tune.
  • JULIA:

  • You do not?
  • LUCETTA:

  • No, madam; it is too sharp.
  • JULIA:

  • You, minion, are too saucy.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Nay, now you are too flat
  • And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:
  • There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.
  • JULIA:

  • The mean is drown'd with your unruly bass.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.
  • JULIA:

  • This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
  • Here is a coil with protestation!
  • Tears the letter
  • Go get you gone, and let the papers lie:
  • You would be fingering them, to anger me.
  • LUCETTA:

  • She makes it strange; but she would be best pleased
  • To be so anger'd with another letter.
  • [Exit]

  • JULIA:

  • Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same!
  • O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
  • Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey
  • And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
  • I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
  • Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia!
  • As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
  • I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
  • Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
  • And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus.'
  • Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed
  • Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal'd;
  • And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
  • But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down.
  • Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
  • Till I have found each letter in the letter,
  • Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear
  • Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock
  • And throw it thence into the raging sea!
  • Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,
  • 'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
  • To the sweet Julia:' that I'll tear away.
  • And yet I will not, sith so prettily
  • He couples it to his complaining names.
  • Thus will I fold them one on another:
  • Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.
  • [Re-enter LUCETTA]

  • LUCETTA:

  • Madam,
  • Dinner is ready, and your father stays.
  • JULIA:

  • Well, let us go.
  • LUCETTA:

  • What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?
  • JULIA:

  • If you respect them, best to take them up.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Nay, I was taken up for laying them down:
  • Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.
  • JULIA:

  • I see you have a month's mind to them.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;
  • I see things too, although you judge I wink.
  • JULIA:

  • Come, come; will't please you go?
  • [Exeunt]

ACT I, SCENE III. The same. ANTONIO's house.

[Enter ANTONIO and PANTHINO]

  • ANTONIO:

  • Tell me, Panthino, what sad talk was that
  • Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister?
  • PANTHINO:

  • 'Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son.
  • ANTONIO:

  • Why, what of him?
  • PANTHINO:

  • He wonder'd that your lordship
  • Would suffer him to spend his youth at home,
  • While other men, of slender reputation,
  • Put forth their sons to seek preferment out:
  • Some to the wars, to try their fortune there;
  • Some to discover islands far away;
  • Some to the studious universities.
  • For any or for all these exercises,
  • He said that Proteus your son was meet,
  • And did request me to importune you
  • To let him spend his time no more at home,
  • Which would be great impeachment to his age,
  • In having known no travel in his youth.
  • ANTONIO:

  • Nor need'st thou much importune me to that
  • Whereon this month I have been hammering.
  • I have consider'd well his loss of time
  • And how he cannot be a perfect man,
  • Not being tried and tutor'd in the world:
  • Experience is by industry achieved
  • And perfected by the swift course of time.
  • Then tell me, whither were I best to send him?
  • PANTHINO:

  • I think your lordship is not ignorant
  • How his companion, youthful Valentine,
  • Attends the emperor in his royal court.
  • ANTONIO:

  • I know it well.
  • PANTHINO:

  • 'Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither:
  • There shall he practise tilts and tournaments,
  • Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen.
  • And be in eye of every exercise
  • Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth.
  • ANTONIO:

  • I like thy counsel; well hast thou advised:
  • And that thou mayst perceive how well I like it,
  • The execution of it shall make known.
  • Even with the speediest expedition
  • I will dispatch him to the emperor's court.
  • PANTHINO:

  • To-morrow, may it please you, Don Alphonso,
  • With other gentlemen of good esteem,
  • Are journeying to salute the emperor
  • And to commend their service to his will.
  • ANTONIO:

  • Good company; with them shall Proteus go:
  • And, in good time! now will we break with him.
  • [Enter PROTEUS]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life!
  • Here is her hand, the agent of her heart;
  • Here is her oath for love, her honour's pawn.
  • O, that our fathers would applaud our loves,
  • To seal our happiness with their consents!
  • O heavenly Julia!
  • ANTONIO:

  • How now! what letter are you reading there?
  • PROTEUS:

  • May't please your lordship, 'tis a word or two
  • Of commendations sent from Valentine,
  • Deliver'd by a friend that came from him.
  • ANTONIO:

  • Lend me the letter; let me see what news.
  • PROTEUS:

  • There is no news, my lord, but that he writes
  • How happily he lives, how well beloved
  • And daily graced by the emperor;
  • Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune.
  • ANTONIO:

  • And how stand you affected to his wish?
  • PROTEUS:

  • As one relying on your lordship's will
  • And not depending on his friendly wish.
  • ANTONIO:

  • My will is something sorted with his wish.
  • Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed;
  • For what I will, I will, and there an end.
  • I am resolved that thou shalt spend some time
  • With Valentinus in the emperor's court:
  • What maintenance he from his friends receives,
  • Like exhibition thou shalt have from me.
  • To-morrow be in readiness to go:
  • Excuse it not, for I am peremptory.
  • PROTEUS:

  • My lord, I cannot be so soon provided:
  • Please you, deliberate a day or two.
  • ANTONIO:

  • Look, what thou want'st shall be sent after thee:
  • No more of stay! to-morrow thou must go.
  • Come on, Panthino: you shall be employ'd
  • To hasten on his expedition.
  • [Exeunt ANTONIO and PANTHINO]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Thus have I shunn'd the fire for fear of burning,
  • And drench'd me in the sea, where I am drown'd.
  • I fear'd to show my father Julia's letter,
  • Lest he should take exceptions to my love;
  • And with the vantage of mine own excuse
  • Hath he excepted most against my love.
  • O, how this spring of love resembleth
  • The uncertain glory of an April day,
  • Which now shows all the beauty of the sun,
  • And by and by a cloud takes all away!
  • [Re-enter PANTHINO]

  • PANTHINO:

  • Sir Proteus, your father calls for you:
  • He is in haste; therefore, I pray you to go.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto,
  • And yet a thousand times it answers 'no.'
  • [Exeunt]

ACT II

ACT II, SCENE I. Milan. The DUKE's palace.

[Enter VALENTINE and SPEED]

  • SPEED:

  • Sir, your glove.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Not mine; my gloves are on.
  • SPEED:

  • Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine:
  • Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
  • Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
  • SPEED:

  • Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!
  • VALENTINE:

  • How now, sirrah?
  • SPEED:

  • She is not within hearing, sir.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Why, sir, who bade you call her?
  • SPEED:

  • Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Well, you'll still be too forward.
  • SPEED:

  • And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
  • SPEED:

  • She that your worship loves?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Why, how know you that I am in love?
  • SPEED:

  • Marry, by these special marks: first, you have
  • learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,
  • like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a
  • robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had
  • the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had
  • lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had
  • buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes
  • diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to
  • speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
  • wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you
  • walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
  • fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
  • looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you
  • are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
  • on you, I can hardly think you my master.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Are all these things perceived in me?
  • SPEED:

  • They are all perceived without ye.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Without me? they cannot.
  • SPEED:

  • Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you
  • were so simple, none else would: but you are so
  • without these follies, that these follies are within
  • you and shine through you like the water in an
  • urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
  • physician to comment on your malady.
  • VALENTINE:

  • But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?
  • SPEED:

  • She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.
  • SPEED:

  • Why, sir, I know her not.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet
  • knowest her not?
  • SPEED:

  • Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.
  • SPEED:

  • Sir, I know that well enough.
  • VALENTINE:

  • What dost thou know?
  • SPEED:

  • That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.
  • SPEED:

  • That's because the one is painted and the other out
  • of all count.
  • VALENTINE:

  • How painted? and how out of count?
  • SPEED:

  • Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no
  • man counts of her beauty.
  • VALENTINE:

  • How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.
  • SPEED:

  • You never saw her since she was deformed.
  • VALENTINE:

  • How long hath she been deformed?
  • SPEED:

  • Ever since you loved her.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I
  • see her beautiful.
  • SPEED:

  • If you love her, you cannot see her.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Why?
  • SPEED:

  • Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;
  • or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to
  • have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going
  • ungartered!
  • VALENTINE:

  • What should I see then?
  • SPEED:

  • Your own present folly and her passing deformity:
  • for he, being in love, could not see to garter his
  • hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last
  • morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
  • SPEED:

  • True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,
  • you swinged me for my love, which makes me the
  • bolder to chide you for yours.
  • VALENTINE:

  • In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
  • SPEED:

  • I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to
  • one she loves.
  • SPEED:

  • And have you?
  • VALENTINE:

  • I have.
  • SPEED:

  • Are they not lamely writ?
  • VALENTINE:

  • No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace!
  • here she comes.
  • SPEED:

  • [Aside]

  • O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
  • Now will he interpret to her.
  • [Enter SILVIA]

  • VALENTINE:

  • Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
  • SPEED:

  • [Aside]

  • O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners.
  • SILVIA:

  • Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
  • SPEED:

  • [Aside]

  • He should give her interest and she gives it him.
  • VALENTINE:

  • As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter
  • Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;
  • Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
  • But for my duty to your ladyship.
  • SILVIA:

  • I thank you gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
  • For being ignorant to whom it goes
  • I writ at random, very doubtfully.
  • SILVIA:

  • Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
  • VALENTINE:

  • No, madam; so it stead you, I will write
  • Please you command, a thousand times as much; And yet--
  • SILVIA:

  • A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
  • And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;
  • And yet take this again; and yet I thank you,
  • Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
  • SPEED:

  • [Aside]

  • And yet you will; and yet another 'yet.'
  • VALENTINE:

  • What means your ladyship? do you not like it?
  • SILVIA:

  • Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ;
  • But since unwillingly, take them again.
  • Nay, take them.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Madam, they are for you.
  • SILVIA:

  • Ay, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request;
  • But I will none of them; they are for you;
  • I would have had them writ more movingly.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
  • SILVIA:

  • And when it's writ, for my sake read it over,
  • And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
  • VALENTINE:

  • If it please me, madam, what then?
  • SILVIA:

  • Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:
  • And so, good morrow, servant.
  • [Exit]

  • SPEED:

  • O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
  • As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
  • My master sues to her, and she hath
  • taught her suitor,
  • He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
  • O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,
  • That my master, being scribe, to himself should write
  • the letter?
  • VALENTINE:

  • How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?
  • SPEED:

  • Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.
  • VALENTINE:

  • To do what?
  • SPEED:

  • To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.
  • VALENTINE:

  • To whom?
  • SPEED:

  • To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.
  • VALENTINE:

  • What figure?
  • SPEED:

  • By a letter, I should say.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Why, she hath not writ to me?
  • SPEED:

  • What need she, when she hath made you write to
  • yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
  • VALENTINE:

  • No, believe me.
  • SPEED:

  • No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive
  • her earnest?
  • VALENTINE:

  • She gave me none, except an angry word.
  • SPEED:

  • Why, she hath given you a letter.
  • VALENTINE:

  • That's the letter I writ to her friend.
  • SPEED:

  • And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I would it were no worse.
  • SPEED:

  • I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:
  • For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
  • Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
  • Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
  • Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
  • All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
  • Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I have dined.
  • SPEED:

  • Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can
  • feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my
  • victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like
  • your mistress; be moved, be moved.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT II, SCENE II. Verona. JULIA'S house.

[Enter PROTEUS and JULIA]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Have patience, gentle Julia.
  • JULIA:

  • I must, where is no remedy.
  • PROTEUS:

  • When possibly I can, I will return.
  • JULIA:

  • If you turn not, you will return the sooner.
  • Keep this remembrance for thy Julia's sake.
  • [Giving a ring]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Why then, we'll make exchange; here, take you this.
  • JULIA:

  • And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Here is my hand for my true constancy;
  • And when that hour o'erslips me in the day
  • Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake,
  • The next ensuing hour some foul mischance
  • Torment me for my love's forgetfulness!
  • My father stays my coming; answer not;
  • The tide is now: nay, not thy tide of tears;
  • That tide will stay me longer than I should.
  • Julia, farewell!
  • [Exit JULIA]

  • What, gone without a word?
  • Ay, so true love should do: it cannot speak;
  • For truth hath better deeds than words to grace it.
  • [Enter PANTHINO]

  • PANTHINO:

  • Sir Proteus, you are stay'd for.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Go; I come, I come.
  • Alas! this parting strikes poor lovers dumb.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT II, SCENE III. The same. A street.

[Enter LAUNCE, leading a dog]

  • LAUNCE:

  • Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping;
  • all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I
  • have received my proportion, like the prodigious
  • son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's
  • court. I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest-natured
  • dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father
  • wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat
  • wringing her hands, and all our house in a great
  • perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed
  • one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble stone, and
  • has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have
  • wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam,
  • having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my
  • parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This
  • shoe is my father: no, this left shoe is my father:
  • no, no, this left shoe is my mother: nay, that
  • cannot be so neither: yes, it is so, it is so, it
  • hath the worser sole. This shoe, with the hole in
  • it, is my mother, and this my father; a vengeance
  • on't! there 'tis: now, sit, this staff is my
  • sister, for, look you, she is as white as a lily and
  • as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid: I
  • am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the
  • dog--Oh! the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so,
  • so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing:
  • now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping:
  • now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now
  • come I to my mother: O, that she could speak now
  • like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her; why, there
  • 'tis; here's my mother's breath up and down. Now
  • come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes. Now
  • the dog all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a
  • word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.
  • [Enter PANTHINO]

  • PANTHINO:

  • Launce, away, away, aboard! thy master is shipped
  • and thou art to post after with oars. What's the
  • matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass! You'll
  • lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.
  • LAUNCE:

  • It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the
  • unkindest tied that ever any man tied.
  • PANTHINO:

  • What's the unkindest tide?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.
  • PANTHINO:

  • Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood, and, in
  • losing the flood, lose thy voyage, and, in losing
  • thy voyage, lose thy master, and, in losing thy
  • master, lose thy service, and, in losing thy
  • service,--Why dost thou stop my mouth?
  • LAUNCE:

  • For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
  • PANTHINO:

  • Where should I lose my tongue?
  • LAUNCE:

  • In thy tale.
  • PANTHINO:

  • In thy tail!
  • LAUNCE:

  • Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and
  • the service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river
  • were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the
  • wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.
  • PANTHINO:

  • Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee.
  • LAUNCE:

  • Sir, call me what thou darest.
  • PANTHINO:

  • Wilt thou go?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Well, I will go.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT II, SCENE IV. Milan. The DUKE's palace.

[Enter SILVIA, VALENTINE, THURIO, and SPEED]

  • SILVIA:

  • Servant!
  • VALENTINE:

  • Mistress?
  • SPEED:

  • Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Ay, boy, it's for love.
  • SPEED:

  • Not of you.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Of my mistress, then.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Twere good you knocked him.
  • [Exit]

  • SILVIA:

  • Servant, you are sad.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Indeed, madam, I seem so.
  • THURIO:

  • Seem you that you are not?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Haply I do.
  • THURIO:

  • So do counterfeits.
  • VALENTINE:

  • So do you.
  • THURIO:

  • What seem I that I am not?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Wise.
  • THURIO:

  • What instance of the contrary?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Your folly.
  • THURIO:

  • And how quote you my folly?
  • VALENTINE:

  • I quote it in your jerkin.
  • THURIO:

  • My jerkin is a doublet.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Well, then, I'll double your folly.
  • THURIO:

  • How?
  • SILVIA:

  • What, angry, Sir Thurio! do you change colour?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Give him leave, madam; he is a kind of chameleon.
  • THURIO:

  • That hath more mind to feed on your blood than live
  • in your air.
  • VALENTINE:

  • You have said, sir.
  • THURIO:

  • Ay, sir, and done too, for this time.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I know it well, sir; you always end ere you begin.
  • SILVIA:

  • A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off.
  • VALENTINE:

  • 'Tis indeed, madam; we thank the giver.
  • SILVIA:

  • Who is that, servant?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Yourself, sweet lady; for you gave the fire. Sir
  • Thurio borrows his wit from your ladyship's looks,
  • and spends what he borrows kindly in your company.
  • THURIO:

  • Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall
  • make your wit bankrupt.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I know it well, sir; you have an exchequer of words,
  • and, I think, no other treasure to give your
  • followers, for it appears by their bare liveries,
  • that they live by your bare words.
  • SILVIA:

  • No more, gentlemen, no more:--here comes my father.
  • [Enter DUKE]

  • DUKE:

  • Now, daughter Silvia, you are hard beset.
  • Sir Valentine, your father's in good health:
  • What say you to a letter from your friends
  • Of much good news?
  • VALENTINE:

  • My lord, I will be thankful.
  • To any happy messenger from thence.
  • DUKE:

  • Know ye Don Antonio, your countryman?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Ay, my good lord, I know the gentleman
  • To be of worth and worthy estimation
  • And not without desert so well reputed.
  • DUKE:

  • Hath he not a son?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Ay, my good lord; a son that well deserves
  • The honour and regard of such a father.
  • DUKE:

  • You know him well?
  • VALENTINE:

  • I know him as myself; for from our infancy
  • We have conversed and spent our hours together:
  • And though myself have been an idle truant,
  • Omitting the sweet benefit of time
  • To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection,
  • Yet hath Sir Proteus, for that's his name,
  • Made use and fair advantage of his days;
  • His years but young, but his experience old;
  • His head unmellow'd, but his judgment ripe;
  • And, in a word, for far behind his worth
  • Comes all the praises that I now bestow,
  • He is complete in feature and in mind
  • With all good grace to grace a gentleman.
  • DUKE:

  • Beshrew me, sir, but if he make this good,
  • He is as worthy for an empress' love
  • As meet to be an emperor's counsellor.
  • Well, sir, this gentleman is come to me,
  • With commendation from great potentates;
  • And here he means to spend his time awhile:
  • I think 'tis no unwelcome news to you.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Should I have wish'd a thing, it had been he.
  • DUKE:

  • Welcome him then according to his worth.
  • Silvia, I speak to you, and you, Sir Thurio;
  • For Valentine, I need not cite him to it:
  • I will send him hither to you presently.
  • [Exit]

  • VALENTINE:

  • This is the gentleman I told your ladyship
  • Had come along with me, but that his mistress
  • Did hold his eyes lock'd in her crystal looks.
  • SILVIA:

  • Belike that now she hath enfranchised them
  • Upon some other pawn for fealty.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Nay, sure, I think she holds them prisoners still.
  • SILVIA:

  • Nay, then he should be blind; and, being blind
  • How could he see his way to seek out you?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Why, lady, Love hath twenty pair of eyes.
  • THURIO:

  • They say that Love hath not an eye at all.
  • VALENTINE:

  • To see such lovers, Thurio, as yourself:
  • Upon a homely object Love can wink.
  • SILVIA:

  • Have done, have done; here comes the gentleman.
  • [Exit THURIO]

  • [Enter PROTEUS]

  • VALENTINE:

  • Welcome, dear Proteus! Mistress, I beseech you,
  • Confirm his welcome with some special favour.
  • SILVIA:

  • His worth is warrant for his welcome hither,
  • If this be he you oft have wish'd to hear from.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Mistress, it is: sweet lady, entertain him
  • To be my fellow-servant to your ladyship.
  • SILVIA:

  • Too low a mistress for so high a servant.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Not so, sweet lady: but too mean a servant
  • To have a look of such a worthy mistress.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Leave off discourse of disability:
  • Sweet lady, entertain him for your servant.
  • PROTEUS:

  • My duty will I boast of; nothing else.
  • SILVIA:

  • And duty never yet did want his meed:
  • Servant, you are welcome to a worthless mistress.
  • PROTEUS:

  • I'll die on him that says so but yourself.
  • SILVIA:

  • That you are welcome?
  • PROTEUS:

  • That you are worthless.
  • [Re-enter THURIO]

  • THURIO:

  • Madam, my lord your father would speak with you.
  • SILVIA:

  • I wait upon his pleasure. Come, Sir Thurio,
  • Go with me. Once more, new servant, welcome:
  • I'll leave you to confer of home affairs;
  • When you have done, we look to hear from you.
  • PROTEUS:

  • We'll both attend upon your ladyship.
  • [Exeunt SILVIA and THURIO]

  • VALENTINE:

  • Now, tell me, how do all from whence you came?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Your friends are well and have them much commended.
  • VALENTINE:

  • And how do yours?
  • PROTEUS:

  • I left them all in health.
  • VALENTINE:

  • How does your lady? and how thrives your love?
  • PROTEUS:

  • My tales of love were wont to weary you;
  • I know you joy not in a love discourse.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Ay, Proteus, but that life is alter'd now:
  • I have done penance for contemning Love,
  • Whose high imperious thoughts have punish'd me
  • With bitter fasts, with penitential groans,
  • With nightly tears and daily heart-sore sighs;
  • For in revenge of my contempt of love,
  • Love hath chased sleep from my enthralled eyes
  • And made them watchers of mine own heart's sorrow.
  • O gentle Proteus, Love's a mighty lord,
  • And hath so humbled me, as, I confess,
  • There is no woe to his correction,
  • Nor to his service no such joy on earth.
  • Now no discourse, except it be of love;
  • Now can I break my fast, dine, sup and sleep,
  • Upon the very naked name of love.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Enough; I read your fortune in your eye.
  • Was this the idol that you worship so?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Even she; and is she not a heavenly saint?
  • PROTEUS:

  • No; but she is an earthly paragon.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Call her divine.
  • PROTEUS:

  • I will not flatter her.
  • VALENTINE:

  • O, flatter me; for love delights in praises.
  • PROTEUS:

  • When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills,
  • And I must minister the like to you.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Then speak the truth by her; if not divine,
  • Yet let her be a principality,
  • Sovereign to all the creatures on the earth.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Except my mistress.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Sweet, except not any;
  • Except thou wilt except against my love.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Have I not reason to prefer mine own?
  • VALENTINE:

  • And I will help thee to prefer her too:
  • She shall be dignified with this high honour--
  • To bear my lady's train, lest the base earth
  • Should from her vesture chance to steal a kiss
  • And, of so great a favour growing proud,
  • Disdain to root the summer-swelling flower
  • And make rough winter everlastingly.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Why, Valentine, what braggardism is this?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Pardon me, Proteus: all I can is nothing
  • To her whose worth makes other worthies nothing;
  • She is alone.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Then let her alone.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Not for the world: why, man, she is mine own,
  • And I as rich in having such a jewel
  • As twenty seas, if all their sand were pearl,
  • The water nectar and the rocks pure gold.
  • Forgive me that I do not dream on thee,
  • Because thou see'st me dote upon my love.
  • My foolish rival, that her father likes
  • Only for his possessions are so huge,
  • Is gone with her along, and I must after,
  • For love, thou know'st, is full of jealousy.
  • PROTEUS:

  • But she loves you?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Ay, and we are betroth'd: nay, more, our,
  • marriage-hour,
  • With all the cunning manner of our flight,
  • Determined of; how I must climb her window,
  • The ladder made of cords, and all the means
  • Plotted and 'greed on for my happiness.
  • Good Proteus, go with me to my chamber,
  • In these affairs to aid me with thy counsel.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Go on before; I shall inquire you forth:
  • I must unto the road, to disembark
  • Some necessaries that I needs must use,
  • And then I'll presently attend you.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Will you make haste?
  • PROTEUS:

  • I will.
  • [Exit VALENTINE]

  • Even as one heat another heat expels,
  • Or as one nail by strength drives out another,
  • So the remembrance of my former love
  • Is by a newer object quite forgotten.
  • Is it mine, or Valentine's praise,
  • Her true perfection, or my false transgression,
  • That makes me reasonless to reason thus?
  • She is fair; and so is Julia that I love--
  • That I did love, for now my love is thaw'd;
  • Which, like a waxen image, 'gainst a fire,
  • Bears no impression of the thing it was.
  • Methinks my zeal to Valentine is cold,
  • And that I love him not as I was wont.
  • O, but I love his lady too too much,
  • And that's the reason I love him so little.
  • How shall I dote on her with more advice,
  • That thus without advice begin to love her!
  • 'Tis but her picture I have yet beheld,
  • And that hath dazzled my reason's light;
  • But when I look on her perfections,
  • There is no reason but I shall be blind.
  • If I can cheque my erring love, I will;
  • If not, to compass her I'll use my skill.
  • [Exit]

ACT II, SCENE V. The same. A street.

[Enter SPEED and LAUNCE severally]

  • SPEED:

  • Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!
  • LAUNCE:

  • Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
  • welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
  • undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
  • place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess
  • say 'Welcome!'
  • SPEED:

  • Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you
  • presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou
  • shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how
  • did thy master part with Madam Julia?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very
  • fairly in jest.
  • SPEED:

  • But shall she marry him?
  • LAUNCE:

  • No.
  • SPEED:

  • How then? shall he marry her?
  • LAUNCE:

  • No, neither.
  • SPEED:

  • What, are they broken?
  • LAUNCE:

  • No, they are both as whole as a fish.
  • SPEED:

  • Why, then, how stands the matter with them?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
  • stands well with her.
  • SPEED:

  • What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
  • LAUNCE:

  • What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
  • staff understands me.
  • SPEED:

  • What thou sayest?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,
  • and my staff understands me.
  • SPEED:

  • It stands under thee, indeed.
  • LAUNCE:

  • Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
  • SPEED:

  • But tell me true, will't be a match?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,
  • it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
  • SPEED:

  • The conclusion is then that it will.
  • LAUNCE:

  • Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest
  • thou, that my master is become a notable lover?
  • LAUNCE:

  • I never knew him otherwise.
  • SPEED:

  • Than how?
  • LAUNCE:

  • A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
  • SPEED:

  • Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.
  • LAUNCE:

  • Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
  • SPEED:

  • I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
  • LAUNCE:

  • Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself
  • in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
  • if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the
  • name of a Christian.
  • SPEED:

  • Why?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to
  • go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
  • SPEED:

  • At thy service.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT II, SCENE VI. The same. The DUKE'S palace.

[Enter PROTEUS]

  • PROTEUS:

  • To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn;
  • To love fair Silvia, shall I be forsworn;
  • To wrong my friend, I shall be much forsworn;
  • And even that power which gave me first my oath
  • Provokes me to this threefold perjury;
  • Love bade me swear and Love bids me forswear.
  • O sweet-suggesting Love, if thou hast sinned,
  • Teach me, thy tempted subject, to excuse it!
  • At first I did adore a twinkling star,
  • But now I worship a celestial sun.
  • Unheedful vows may heedfully be broken,
  • And he wants wit that wants resolved will
  • To learn his wit to exchange the bad for better.
  • Fie, fie, unreverend tongue! to call her bad,
  • Whose sovereignty so oft thou hast preferr'd
  • With twenty thousand soul-confirming oaths.
  • I cannot leave to love, and yet I do;
  • But there I leave to love where I should love.
  • Julia I lose and Valentine I lose:
  • If I keep them, I needs must lose myself;
  • If I lose them, thus find I by their loss
  • For Valentine myself, for Julia Silvia.
  • I to myself am dearer than a friend,
  • For love is still most precious in itself;
  • And Silvia--witness Heaven, that made her fair!--
  • Shows Julia but a swarthy Ethiope.
  • I will forget that Julia is alive,
  • Remembering that my love to her is dead;
  • And Valentine I'll hold an enemy,
  • Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend.
  • I cannot now prove constant to myself,
  • Without some treachery used to Valentine.
  • This night he meaneth with a corded ladder
  • To climb celestial Silvia's chamber-window,
  • Myself in counsel, his competitor.
  • Now presently I'll give her father notice
  • Of their disguising and pretended flight;
  • Who, all enraged, will banish Valentine;
  • For Thurio, he intends, shall wed his daughter;
  • But, Valentine being gone, I'll quickly cross
  • By some sly trick blunt Thurio's dull proceeding.
  • Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift,
  • As thou hast lent me wit to plot this drift!
  • [Exit]

ACT II, SCENE VII. Verona. JULIA'S house.

[Enter JULIA and LUCETTA]

  • JULIA:

  • Counsel, Lucetta; gentle girl, assist me;
  • And even in kind love I do conjure thee,
  • Who art the table wherein all my thoughts
  • Are visibly character'd and engraved,
  • To lesson me and tell me some good mean
  • How, with my honour, I may undertake
  • A journey to my loving Proteus.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Alas, the way is wearisome and long!
  • JULIA:

  • A true-devoted pilgrim is not weary
  • To measure kingdoms with his feeble steps;
  • Much less shall she that hath Love's wings to fly,
  • And when the flight is made to one so dear,
  • Of such divine perfection, as Sir Proteus.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Better forbear till Proteus make return.
  • JULIA:

  • O, know'st thou not his looks are my soul's food?
  • Pity the dearth that I have pined in,
  • By longing for that food so long a time.
  • Didst thou but know the inly touch of love,
  • Thou wouldst as soon go kindle fire with snow
  • As seek to quench the fire of love with words.
  • LUCETTA:

  • I do not seek to quench your love's hot fire,
  • But qualify the fire's extreme rage,
  • Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason.
  • JULIA:

  • The more thou damm'st it up, the more it burns.
  • The current that with gentle murmur glides,
  • Thou know'st, being stopp'd, impatiently doth rage;
  • But when his fair course is not hindered,
  • He makes sweet music with the enamell'ed stones,
  • Giving a gentle kiss to every sedge
  • He overtaketh in his pilgrimage,
  • And so by many winding nooks he strays
  • With willing sport to the wild ocean.
  • Then let me go and hinder not my course
  • I'll be as patient as a gentle stream
  • And make a pastime of each weary step,
  • Till the last step have brought me to my love;
  • And there I'll rest, as after much turmoil
  • A blessed soul doth in Elysium.
  • LUCETTA:

  • But in what habit will you go along?
  • JULIA:

  • Not like a woman; for I would prevent
  • The loose encounters of lascivious men:
  • Gentle Lucetta, fit me with such weeds
  • As may beseem some well-reputed page.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Why, then, your ladyship must cut your hair.
  • JULIA:

  • No, girl, I'll knit it up in silken strings
  • With twenty odd-conceited true-love knots.
  • To be fantastic may become a youth
  • Of greater time than I shall show to be.
  • LUCETTA:

  • What fashion, madam shall I make your breeches?
  • JULIA:

  • That fits as well as 'Tell me, good my lord,
  • What compass will you wear your farthingale?'
  • Why even what fashion thou best likest, Lucetta.
  • LUCETTA:

  • You must needs have them with a codpiece, madam.
  • JULIA:

  • Out, out, Lucetta! that would be ill-favour'd.
  • LUCETTA:

  • A round hose, madam, now's not worth a pin,
  • Unless you have a codpiece to stick pins on.
  • JULIA:

  • Lucetta, as thou lovest me, let me have
  • What thou thinkest meet and is most mannerly.
  • But tell me, wench, how will the world repute me
  • For undertaking so unstaid a journey?
  • I fear me, it will make me scandalized.
  • LUCETTA:

  • If you think so, then stay at home and go not.
  • JULIA:

  • Nay, that I will not.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Then never dream on infamy, but go.
  • If Proteus like your journey when you come,
  • No matter who's displeased when you are gone:
  • I fear me, he will scarce be pleased withal.
  • JULIA:

  • That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear:
  • A thousand oaths, an ocean of his tears
  • And instances of infinite of love
  • Warrant me welcome to my Proteus.
  • LUCETTA:

  • All these are servants to deceitful men.
  • JULIA:

  • Base men, that use them to so base effect!
  • But truer stars did govern Proteus' birth
  • His words are bonds, his oaths are oracles,
  • His love sincere, his thoughts immaculate,
  • His tears pure messengers sent from his heart,
  • His heart as far from fraud as heaven from earth.
  • LUCETTA:

  • Pray heaven he prove so, when you come to him!
  • JULIA:

  • Now, as thou lovest me, do him not that wrong
  • To bear a hard opinion of his truth:
  • Only deserve my love by loving him;
  • And presently go with me to my chamber,
  • To take a note of what I stand in need of,
  • To furnish me upon my longing journey.
  • All that is mine I leave at thy dispose,
  • My goods, my lands, my reputation;
  • Only, in lieu thereof, dispatch me hence.
  • Come, answer not, but to it presently!
  • I am impatient of my tarriance.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT III

ACT III, SCENE I. Milan. The DUKE's palace.

[Enter DUKE, THURIO, and PROTEUS]

  • DUKE:

  • Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile;
  • We have some secrets to confer about.
  • [Exit THURIO]

  • Now, tell me, Proteus, what's your will with me?
  • PROTEUS:

  • My gracious lord, that which I would discover
  • The law of friendship bids me to conceal;
  • But when I call to mind your gracious favours
  • Done to me, undeserving as I am,
  • My duty pricks me on to utter that
  • Which else no worldly good should draw from me.
  • Know, worthy prince, Sir Valentine, my friend,
  • This night intends to steal away your daughter:
  • Myself am one made privy to the plot.
  • I know you have determined to bestow her
  • On Thurio, whom your gentle daughter hates;
  • And should she thus be stol'n away from you,
  • It would be much vexation to your age.
  • Thus, for my duty's sake, I rather chose
  • To cross my friend in his intended drift
  • Than, by concealing it, heap on your head
  • A pack of sorrows which would press you down,
  • Being unprevented, to your timeless grave.
  • DUKE:

  • Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care;
  • Which to requite, command me while I live.
  • This love of theirs myself have often seen,
  • Haply when they have judged me fast asleep,
  • And oftentimes have purposed to forbid
  • Sir Valentine her company and my court:
  • But fearing lest my jealous aim might err
  • And so unworthily disgrace the man,
  • A rashness that I ever yet have shunn'd,
  • I gave him gentle looks, thereby to find
  • That which thyself hast now disclosed to me.
  • And, that thou mayst perceive my fear of this,
  • Knowing that tender youth is soon suggested,
  • I nightly lodge her in an upper tower,
  • The key whereof myself have ever kept;
  • And thence she cannot be convey'd away.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Know, noble lord, they have devised a mean
  • How he her chamber-window will ascend
  • And with a corded ladder fetch her down;
  • For which the youthful lover now is gone
  • And this way comes he with it presently;
  • Where, if it please you, you may intercept him.
  • But, good my Lord, do it so cunningly
  • That my discovery be not aimed at;
  • For love of you, not hate unto my friend,
  • Hath made me publisher of this pretence.
  • DUKE:

  • Upon mine honour, he shall never know
  • That I had any light from thee of this.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Adieu, my Lord; Sir Valentine is coming.
  • [Exit]

  • [Enter VALENTINE]

  • DUKE:

  • Sir Valentine, whither away so fast?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Please it your grace, there is a messenger
  • That stays to bear my letters to my friends,
  • And I am going to deliver them.
  • DUKE:

  • Be they of much import?
  • VALENTINE:

  • The tenor of them doth but signify
  • My health and happy being at your court.
  • DUKE:

  • Nay then, no matter; stay with me awhile;
  • I am to break with thee of some affairs
  • That touch me near, wherein thou must be secret.
  • 'Tis not unknown to thee that I have sought
  • To match my friend Sir Thurio to my daughter.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I know it well, my Lord; and, sure, the match
  • Were rich and honourable; besides, the gentleman
  • Is full of virtue, bounty, worth and qualities
  • Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter:
  • Cannot your Grace win her to fancy him?
  • DUKE:

  • No, trust me; she is peevish, sullen, froward,
  • Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty,
  • Neither regarding that she is my child
  • Nor fearing me as if I were her father;
  • And, may I say to thee, this pride of hers,
  • Upon advice, hath drawn my love from her;
  • And, where I thought the remnant of mine age
  • Should have been cherish'd by her child-like duty,
  • I now am full resolved to take a wife
  • And turn her out to who will take her in:
  • Then let her beauty be her wedding-dower;
  • For me and my possessions she esteems not.
  • VALENTINE:

  • What would your Grace have me to do in this?
  • DUKE:

  • There is a lady in Verona here
  • Whom I affect; but she is nice and coy
  • And nought esteems my aged eloquence:
  • Now therefore would I have thee to my tutor--
  • For long agone I have forgot to court;
  • Besides, the fashion of the time is changed--
  • How and which way I may bestow myself
  • To be regarded in her sun-bright eye.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Win her with gifts, if she respect not words:
  • Dumb jewels often in their silent kind
  • More than quick words do move a woman's mind.
  • DUKE:

  • But she did scorn a present that I sent her.
  • VALENTINE:

  • A woman sometimes scorns what best contents her.
  • Send her another; never give her o'er;
  • For scorn at first makes after-love the more.
  • If she do frown, 'tis not in hate of you,
  • But rather to beget more love in you:
  • If she do chide, 'tis not to have you gone;
  • For why, the fools are mad, if left alone.
  • Take no repulse, whatever she doth say;
  • For 'get you gone,' she doth not mean 'away!'
  • Flatter and praise, commend, extol their graces;
  • Though ne'er so black, say they have angels' faces.
  • That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man,
  • If with his tongue he cannot win a woman.
  • DUKE:

  • But she I mean is promised by her friends
  • Unto a youthful gentleman of worth,
  • And kept severely from resort of men,
  • That no man hath access by day to her.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Why, then, I would resort to her by night.
  • DUKE:

  • Ay, but the doors be lock'd and keys kept safe,
  • That no man hath recourse to her by night.
  • VALENTINE:

  • What lets but one may enter at her window?
  • DUKE:

  • Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground,
  • And built so shelving that one cannot climb it
  • Without apparent hazard of his life.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Why then, a ladder quaintly made of cords,
  • To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks,
  • Would serve to scale another Hero's tower,
  • So bold Leander would adventure it.
  • DUKE:

  • Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood,
  • Advise me where I may have such a ladder.
  • VALENTINE:

  • When would you use it? pray, sir, tell me that.
  • DUKE:

  • This very night; for Love is like a child,
  • That longs for every thing that he can come by.
  • VALENTINE:

  • By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder.
  • DUKE:

  • But, hark thee; I will go to her alone:
  • How shall I best convey the ladder thither?
  • VALENTINE:

  • It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it
  • Under a cloak that is of any length.
  • DUKE:

  • A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Ay, my good lord.
  • DUKE:

  • Then let me see thy cloak:
  • I'll get me one of such another length.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord.
  • DUKE:

  • How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?
  • I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.
  • What letter is this same? What's here? 'To Silvia'!
  • And here an engine fit for my proceeding.
  • I'll be so bold to break the seal for once.
  • [Reads]

  • 'My thoughts do harbour with my Silvia nightly,
  • And slaves they are to me that send them flying:
  • O, could their master come and go as lightly,
  • Himself would lodge where senseless they are lying!
  • My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them:
  • While I, their king, that hither them importune,
  • Do curse the grace that with such grace hath bless'd them,
  • Because myself do want my servants' fortune:
  • I curse myself, for they are sent by me,
  • That they should harbour where their lord would be.'
  • What's here?
  • 'Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee.'
  • 'Tis so; and here's the ladder for the purpose.
  • Why, Phaeton,--for thou art Merops' son,--
  • Wilt thou aspire to guide the heavenly car
  • And with thy daring folly burn the world?
  • Wilt thou reach stars, because they shine on thee?
  • Go, base intruder! overweening slave!
  • Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates,
  • And think my patience, more than thy desert,
  • Is privilege for thy departure hence:
  • Thank me for this more than for all the favours
  • Which all too much I have bestow'd on thee.
  • But if thou linger in my territories
  • Longer than swiftest expedition
  • Will give thee time to leave our royal court,
  • By heaven! my wrath shall far exceed the love
  • I ever bore my daughter or thyself.
  • Be gone! I will not hear thy vain excuse;
  • But, as thou lovest thy life, make speed from hence.
  • [Exit]

  • VALENTINE:

  • And why not death rather than living torment?
  • To die is to be banish'd from myself;
  • And Silvia is myself: banish'd from her
  • Is self from self: a deadly banishment!
  • What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?
  • What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?
  • Unless it be to think that she is by
  • And feed upon the shadow of perfection
  • Except I be by Silvia in the night,
  • There is no music in the nightingale;
  • Unless I look on Silvia in the day,
  • There is no day for me to look upon;
  • She is my essence, and I leave to be,
  • If I be not by her fair influence
  • Foster'd, illumined, cherish'd, kept alive.
  • I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom:
  • Tarry I here, I but attend on death:
  • But, fly I hence, I fly away from life.
  • [Enter PROTEUS and LAUNCE]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out.
  • LAUNCE:

  • Soho, soho!
  • PROTEUS:

  • What seest thou?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's head
  • but 'tis a Valentine.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Valentine?
  • VALENTINE:

  • No.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Who then? his spirit?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Neither.
  • PROTEUS:

  • What then?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Nothing.
  • LAUNCE:

  • Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Who wouldst thou strike?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Nothing.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Villain, forbear.
  • LAUNCE:

  • Why, sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray you,--
  • PROTEUS:

  • Sirrah, I say, forbear. Friend Valentine, a word.
  • VALENTINE:

  • My ears are stopt and cannot hear good news,
  • So much of bad already hath possess'd them.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,
  • For they are harsh, untuneable and bad.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Is Silvia dead?
  • PROTEUS:

  • No, Valentine.
  • VALENTINE:

  • No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia.
  • Hath she forsworn me?
  • PROTEUS:

  • No, Valentine.
  • VALENTINE:

  • No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me.
  • What is your news?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
  • PROTEUS:

  • That thou art banished--O, that's the news!--
  • From hence, from Silvia and from me thy friend.
  • VALENTINE:

  • O, I have fed upon this woe already,
  • And now excess of it will make me surfeit.
  • Doth Silvia know that I am banished?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom--
  • Which, unreversed, stands in effectual force--
  • A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears:
  • Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd;
  • With them, upon her knees, her humble self;
  • Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them
  • As if but now they waxed pale for woe:
  • But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
  • Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears,
  • Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire;
  • But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die.
  • Besides, her intercession chafed him so,
  • When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
  • That to close prison he commanded her,
  • With many bitter threats of biding there.
  • VALENTINE:

  • No more; unless the next word that thou speak'st
  • Have some malignant power upon my life:
  • If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
  • As ending anthem of my endless dolour.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,
  • And study help for that which thou lament'st.
  • Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
  • Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love;
  • Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
  • Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that
  • And manage it against despairing thoughts.
  • Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence;
  • Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd
  • Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
  • The time now serves not to expostulate:
  • Come, I'll convey thee through the city-gate;
  • And, ere I part with thee, confer at large
  • Of all that may concern thy love-affairs.
  • As thou lovest Silvia, though not for thyself,
  • Regard thy danger, and along with me!
  • VALENTINE:

  • I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy,
  • Bid him make haste and meet me at the North-gate.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine.
  • VALENTINE:

  • O my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine!
  • [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS]

  • LAUNCE:

  • I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to
  • think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's
  • all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now
  • that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a
  • team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who
  • 'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I
  • will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet
  • 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet 'tis
  • a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for
  • wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel;
  • which is much in a bare Christian.
  • [Pulling out a paper]

  • Here is the cate-log of her condition.
  • 'Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse
  • can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
  • carry; therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item:
  • She can milk;' look you, a sweet virtue in a maid
  • with clean hands.
  • [Enter SPEED]

  • SPEED:

  • How now, Signior Launce! what news with your
  • mastership?
  • LAUNCE:

  • With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.
  • SPEED:

  • Well, your old vice still; mistake the word. What
  • news, then, in your paper?
  • LAUNCE:

  • The blackest news that ever thou heardest.
  • SPEED:

  • Why, man, how black?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Why, as black as ink.
  • SPEED:

  • Let me read them.
  • LAUNCE:

  • Fie on thee, jolt-head! thou canst not read.
  • SPEED:

  • Thou liest; I can.
  • LAUNCE:

  • I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
  • SPEED:

  • Marry, the son of my grandfather.
  • LAUNCE:

  • O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy
  • grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.
  • SPEED:

  • Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper.
  • LAUNCE:

  • There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed!
  • SPEED:

  • [Reads]

  • 'Imprimis: She can milk.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • Ay, that she can.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She brews good ale.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • And thereof comes the proverb: 'Blessing of your
  • heart, you brew good ale.'
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She can sew.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • That's as much as to say, Can she so?
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She can knit.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when
  • she can knit him a stock?
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She can wash and scour.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • A special virtue: for then she need not be washed
  • and scoured.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She can spin.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can
  • spin for her living.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She hath many nameless virtues.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that,
  • indeed, know not their fathers and therefore have no names.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Here follow her vices.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • Close at the heels of her virtues.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She is not to be kissed fasting in respect
  • of her breath.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • That makes amends for her sour breath.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She doth talk in her sleep.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She is slow in words.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • O villain, that set this down among her vices! To
  • be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray
  • thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She is proud.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot
  • be ta'en from her.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She hath no teeth.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She is curst.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She will often praise her liquor.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I
  • will; for good things should be praised.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She is too liberal.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she
  • is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that
  • I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and
  • that cannot I help. Well, proceed.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults
  • than hairs, and more wealth than faults.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not
  • mine, twice or thrice in that last article.
  • Rehearse that once more.
  • SPEED:

  • 'Item: She hath more hair than wit,'--
  • LAUNCE:

  • More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. The
  • cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it
  • is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit
  • is more than the wit, for the greater hides the
  • less. What's next?
  • SPEED:

  • 'And more faults than hairs,'--
  • LAUNCE:

  • That's monstrous: O, that that were out!
  • SPEED:

  • 'And more wealth than faults.'
  • LAUNCE:

  • Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well,
  • I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is
  • impossible,--
  • SPEED:

  • What then?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Why, then will I tell thee--that thy master stays
  • for thee at the North-gate.
  • SPEED:

  • For me?
  • LAUNCE:

  • For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed for a
  • better man than thee.
  • SPEED:

  • And must I go to him?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long
  • that going will scarce serve the turn.
  • SPEED:

  • Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your love letters!
  • [Exit]

  • LAUNCE:

  • Now will he be swinged for reading my letter; an
  • unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into
  • secrets! I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.
  • [Exit]

ACT III, SCENE II. The same. The DUKE's palace.

[Enter DUKE and THURIO]

  • DUKE:

  • Sir Thurio, fear not but that she will love you,
  • Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight.
  • THURIO:

  • Since his exile she hath despised me most,
  • Forsworn my company and rail'd at me,
  • That I am desperate of obtaining her.
  • DUKE:

  • This weak impress of love is as a figure
  • Trenched in ice, which with an hour's heat
  • Dissolves to water and doth lose his form.
  • A little time will melt her frozen thoughts
  • And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.
  • [Enter PROTEUS]

  • How now, Sir Proteus! Is your countryman
  • According to our proclamation gone?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Gone, my good lord.
  • DUKE:

  • My daughter takes his going grievously.
  • PROTEUS:

  • A little time, my lord, will kill that grief.
  • DUKE:

  • So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.
  • Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee--
  • For thou hast shown some sign of good desert--
  • Makes me the better to confer with thee.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Longer than I prove loyal to your grace
  • Let me not live to look upon your grace.
  • DUKE:

  • Thou know'st how willingly I would effect
  • The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter.
  • PROTEUS:

  • I do, my lord.
  • DUKE:

  • And also, I think, thou art not ignorant
  • How she opposes her against my will
  • PROTEUS:

  • She did, my lord, when Valentine was here.
  • DUKE:

  • Ay, and perversely she persevers so.
  • What might we do to make the girl forget
  • The love of Valentine and love Sir Thurio?
  • PROTEUS:

  • The best way is to slander Valentine
  • With falsehood, cowardice and poor descent,
  • Three things that women highly hold in hate.
  • DUKE:

  • Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in hate.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Ay, if his enemy deliver it:
  • Therefore it must with circumstance be spoken
  • By one whom she esteemeth as his friend.
  • DUKE:

  • Then you must undertake to slander him.
  • PROTEUS:

  • And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do:
  • 'Tis an ill office for a gentleman,
  • Especially against his very friend.
  • DUKE:

  • Where your good word cannot advantage him,
  • Your slander never can endamage him;
  • Therefore the office is indifferent,
  • Being entreated to it by your friend.
  • PROTEUS:

  • You have prevail'd, my lord; if I can do it
  • By ought that I can speak in his dispraise,
  • She shall not long continue love to him.
  • But say this weed her love from Valentine,
  • It follows not that she will love Sir Thurio.
  • THURIO:

  • Therefore, as you unwind her love from him,
  • Lest it should ravel and be good to none,
  • You must provide to bottom it on me;
  • Which must be done by praising me as much
  • As you in worth dispraise Sir Valentine.
  • DUKE:

  • And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind,
  • Because we know, on Valentine's report,
  • You are already Love's firm votary
  • And cannot soon revolt and change your mind.
  • Upon this warrant shall you have access
  • Where you with Silvia may confer at large;
  • For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy,
  • And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you;
  • Where you may temper her by your persuasion
  • To hate young Valentine and love my friend.
  • PROTEUS:

  • As much as I can do, I will effect:
  • But you, Sir Thurio, are not sharp enough;
  • You must lay lime to tangle her desires
  • By wailful sonnets, whose composed rhymes
  • Should be full-fraught with serviceable vows.
  • DUKE:

  • Ay,
  • Much is the force of heaven-bred poesy.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Say that upon the altar of her beauty
  • You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart:
  • Write till your ink be dry, and with your tears
  • Moist it again, and frame some feeling line
  • That may discover such integrity:
  • For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews,
  • Whose golden touch could soften steel and stones,
  • Make tigers tame and huge leviathans
  • Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands.
  • After your dire-lamenting elegies,
  • Visit by night your lady's chamber-window
  • With some sweet concert; to their instruments
  • Tune a deploring dump: the night's dead silence
  • Will well become such sweet-complaining grievance.
  • This, or else nothing, will inherit her.
  • DUKE:

  • This discipline shows thou hast been in love.
  • THURIO:

  • And thy advice this night I'll put in practise.
  • Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver,
  • Let us into the city presently
  • To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music.
  • I have a sonnet that will serve the turn
  • To give the onset to thy good advice.
  • DUKE:

  • About it, gentlemen!
  • PROTEUS:

  • We'll wait upon your grace till after supper,
  • And afterward determine our proceedings.
  • DUKE:

  • Even now about it! I will pardon you.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT IV

ACT IV, SCENE I. The frontiers of Mantua. A forest.

[Enter certain Outlaws]

  • First Outlaw:

  • Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger.
  • Second Outlaw:

  • If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em.
  • [Enter VALENTINE and SPEED]

  • Third Outlaw:

  • Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about ye:
  • If not: we'll make you sit and rifle you.
  • SPEED:

  • Sir, we are undone; these are the villains
  • That all the travellers do fear so much.
  • VALENTINE:

  • My friends,--
  • First Outlaw:

  • That's not so, sir: we are your enemies.
  • Second Outlaw:

  • Peace! we'll hear him.
  • Third Outlaw:

  • Ay, by my beard, will we, for he's a proper man.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Then know that I have little wealth to lose:
  • A man I am cross'd with adversity;
  • My riches are these poor habiliments,
  • Of which if you should here disfurnish me,
  • You take the sum and substance that I have.
  • Second Outlaw:

  • Whither travel you?
  • VALENTINE:

  • To Verona.
  • First Outlaw:

  • Whence came you?
  • VALENTINE:

  • From Milan.
  • Third Outlaw:

  • Have you long sojourned there?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Some sixteen months, and longer might have stay'd,
  • If crooked fortune had not thwarted me.
  • First Outlaw:

  • What, were you banish'd thence?
  • VALENTINE:

  • I was.
  • Second Outlaw:

  • For what offence?
  • VALENTINE:

  • For that which now torments me to rehearse:
  • I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent;
  • Bu t yet I slew him manfully in fight,
  • Without false vantage or base treachery.
  • First Outlaw:

  • Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so.
  • But were you banish'd for so small a fault?
  • VALENTINE:

  • I was, and held me glad of such a doom.
  • Second Outlaw:

  • Have you the tongues?
  • VALENTINE:

  • My youthful travel therein made me happy,
  • Or else I often had been miserable.
  • Third Outlaw:

  • By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar,
  • This fellow were a king for our wild faction!
  • First Outlaw:

  • We'll have him. Sirs, a word.
  • SPEED:

  • Master, be one of them; it's an honourable kind of thievery.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Peace, villain!
  • Second Outlaw:

  • Tell us this: have you any thing to take to?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Nothing but my fortune.
  • Third Outlaw:

  • Know, then, that some of us are gentlemen,
  • Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth
  • Thrust from the company of awful men:
  • Myself was from Verona banished
  • For practising to steal away a lady,
  • An heir, and near allied unto the duke.
  • Second Outlaw:

  • And I from Mantua, for a gentleman,
  • Who, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart.
  • First Outlaw:

  • And I for such like petty crimes as these,
  • But to the purpose--for we cite our faults,
  • That they may hold excus'd our lawless lives;
  • And partly, seeing you are beautified
  • With goodly shape and by your own report
  • A linguist and a man of such perfection
  • As we do in our quality much want--
  • Second Outlaw:

  • Indeed, because you are a banish'd man,
  • Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you:
  • Are you content to be our general?
  • To make a virtue of necessity
  • And live, as we do, in this wilderness?
  • Third Outlaw:

  • What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our consort?
  • Say ay, and be the captain of us all:
  • We'll do thee homage and be ruled by thee,
  • Love thee as our commander and our king.
  • First Outlaw:

  • But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest.
  • Second Outlaw:

  • Thou shalt not live to brag what we have offer'd.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I take your offer and will live with you,
  • Provided that you do no outrages
  • On silly women or poor passengers.
  • Third Outlaw:

  • No, we detest such vile base practises.
  • Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our crews,
  • And show thee all the treasure we have got,
  • Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT IV, SCENE II. Milan. Outside the DUKE's palace, under SILVIA's chamber.

[Enter PROTEUS]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Already have I been false to Valentine
  • And now I must be as unjust to Thurio.
  • Under the colour of commending him,
  • I have access my own love to prefer:
  • But Silvia is too fair, too true, too holy,
  • To be corrupted with my worthless gifts.
  • When I protest true loyalty to her,
  • She twits me with my falsehood to my friend;
  • When to her beauty I commend my vows,
  • She bids me think how I have been forsworn
  • In breaking faith with Julia whom I loved:
  • And notwithstanding all her sudden quips,
  • The least whereof would quell a lover's hope,
  • Yet, spaniel-like, the more she spurns my love,
  • The more it grows and fawneth on her still.
  • But here comes Thurio: now must we to her window,
  • And give some evening music to her ear.
  • [Enter THURIO and Musicians]

  • THURIO:

  • How now, Sir Proteus, are you crept before us?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Ay, gentle Thurio: for you know that love
  • Will creep in service where it cannot go.
  • THURIO:

  • Ay, but I hope, sir, that you love not here.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence.
  • THURIO:

  • Who? Silvia?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Ay, Silvia; for your sake.
  • THURIO:

  • I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen,
  • Let's tune, and to it lustily awhile.
  • [Enter, at a distance, Host, and JULIA in boy's clothes]

  • Host:

  • Now, my young guest, methinks you're allycholly: I
  • pray you, why is it?
  • JULIA:

  • Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry.
  • Host:

  • Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you where
  • you shall hear music and see the gentleman that you asked for.
  • JULIA:

  • But shall I hear him speak?
  • Host:

  • Ay, that you shall.
  • JULIA:

  • That will be music.
  • [Music plays]

  • Host:

  • Hark, hark!
  • JULIA:

  • Is he among these?
  • Host:

  • Ay: but, peace! let's hear 'em.
  • SONG.
  • Who is Silvia? what is she,
  • That all our swains commend her?
  • Holy, fair and wise is she;
  • The heaven such grace did lend her,
  • That she might admired be.
  • Is she kind as she is fair?
  • For beauty lives with kindness.
  • Love doth to her eyes repair,
  • To help him of his blindness,
  • And, being help'd, inhabits there.
  • Then to Silvia let us sing,
  • That Silvia is excelling;
  • She excels each mortal thing
  • Upon the dull earth dwelling:
  • To her let us garlands bring.
  • Host:

  • How now! are you sadder than you were before? How
  • do you, man? the music likes you not.
  • JULIA:

  • You mistake; the musician likes me not.
  • Host:

  • Why, my pretty youth?
  • JULIA:

  • He plays false, father.
  • Host:

  • How? out of tune on the strings?
  • JULIA:

  • Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very
  • heart-strings.
  • Host:

  • You have a quick ear.
  • JULIA:

  • Ay, I would I were deaf; it makes me have a slow heart.
  • Host:

  • I perceive you delight not in music.
  • JULIA:

  • Not a whit, when it jars so.
  • Host:

  • Hark, what fine change is in the music!
  • JULIA:

  • Ay, that change is the spite.
  • Host:

  • You would have them always play but one thing?
  • JULIA:

  • I would always have one play but one thing.
  • But, host, doth this Sir Proteus that we talk on
  • Often resort unto this gentlewoman?
  • Host:

  • I tell you what Launce, his man, told me: he loved
  • her out of all nick.
  • JULIA:

  • Where is Launce?
  • Host:

  • Gone to seek his dog; which tomorrow, by his
  • master's command, he must carry for a present to his lady.
  • JULIA:

  • Peace! stand aside: the company parts.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Sir Thurio, fear not you: I will so plead
  • That you shall say my cunning drift excels.
  • THURIO:

  • Where meet we?
  • PROTEUS:

  • At Saint Gregory's well.
  • THURIO:

  • Farewell.
  • [Exeunt THURIO and Musicians]

  • [Enter SILVIA above]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Madam, good even to your ladyship.
  • SILVIA:

  • I thank you for your music, gentlemen.
  • Who is that that spake?
  • PROTEUS:

  • One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's truth,
  • You would quickly learn to know him by his voice.
  • SILVIA:

  • Sir Proteus, as I take it.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant.
  • SILVIA:

  • What's your will?
  • PROTEUS:

  • That I may compass yours.
  • SILVIA:

  • You have your wish; my will is even this:
  • That presently you hie you home to bed.
  • Thou subtle, perjured, false, disloyal man!
  • Think'st thou I am so shallow, so conceitless,
  • To be seduced by thy flattery,
  • That hast deceived so many with thy vows?
  • Return, return, and make thy love amends.
  • For me, by this pale queen of night I swear,
  • I am so far from granting thy request
  • That I despise thee for thy wrongful suit,
  • And by and by intend to chide myself
  • Even for this time I spend in talking to thee.
  • PROTEUS:

  • I grant, sweet love, that I did love a lady;
  • But she is dead.
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • 'Twere false, if I should speak it;
  • For I am sure she is not buried.
  • SILVIA:

  • Say that she be; yet Valentine thy friend
  • Survives; to whom, thyself art witness,
  • I am betroth'd: and art thou not ashamed
  • To wrong him with thy importunacy?
  • PROTEUS:

  • I likewise hear that Valentine is dead.
  • SILVIA:

  • And so suppose am I; for in his grave
  • Assure thyself my love is buried.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth.
  • SILVIA:

  • Go to thy lady's grave and call hers thence,
  • Or, at the least, in hers sepulchre thine.
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • He heard not that.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Madam, if your heart be so obdurate,
  • Vouchsafe me yet your picture for my love,
  • The picture that is hanging in your chamber;
  • To that I'll speak, to that I'll sigh and weep:
  • For since the substance of your perfect self
  • Is else devoted, I am but a shadow;
  • And to your shadow will I make true love.
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • If 'twere a substance, you would, sure,
  • deceive it,
  • And make it but a shadow, as I am.
  • SILVIA:

  • I am very loath to be your idol, sir;
  • But since your falsehood shall become you well
  • To worship shadows and adore false shapes,
  • Send to me in the morning and I'll send it:
  • And so, good rest.
  • PROTEUS:

  • As wretches have o'ernight
  • That wait for execution in the morn.
  • [Exeunt PROTEUS and SILVIA severally]

  • JULIA:

  • Host, will you go?
  • Host:

  • By my halidom, I was fast asleep.
  • JULIA:

  • Pray you, where lies Sir Proteus?
  • Host:

  • Marry, at my house. Trust me, I think 'tis almost
  • day.
  • JULIA:

  • Not so; but it hath been the longest night
  • That e'er I watch'd and the most heaviest.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT IV, SCENE III. The same.

[Enter EGLAMOUR]

  • EGLAMOUR:

  • This is the hour that Madam Silvia
  • Entreated me to call and know her mind:
  • There's some great matter she'ld employ me in.
  • Madam, madam!
  • [Enter SILVIA above]

  • SILVIA:

  • Who calls?
  • EGLAMOUR:

  • Your servant and your friend;
  • One that attends your ladyship's command.
  • SILVIA:

  • Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good morrow.
  • EGLAMOUR:

  • As many, worthy lady, to yourself:
  • According to your ladyship's impose,
  • I am thus early come to know what service
  • It is your pleasure to command me in.
  • SILVIA:

  • O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman--
  • Think not I flatter, for I swear I do not--
  • Valiant, wise, remorseful, well accomplish'd:
  • Thou art not ignorant what dear good will
  • I bear unto the banish'd Valentine,
  • Nor how my father would enforce me marry
  • Vain Thurio, whom my very soul abhors.
  • Thyself hast loved; and I have heard thee say
  • No grief did ever come so near thy heart
  • As when thy lady and thy true love died,
  • Upon whose grave thou vow'dst pure chastity.
  • Sir Eglamour, I would to Valentine,
  • To Mantua, where I hear he makes abode;
  • And, for the ways are dangerous to pass,
  • I do desire thy worthy company,
  • Upon whose faith and honour I repose.
  • Urge not my father's anger, Eglamour,
  • But think upon my grief, a lady's grief,
  • And on the justice of my flying hence,
  • To keep me from a most unholy match,
  • Which heaven and fortune still rewards with plagues.
  • I do desire thee, even from a heart
  • As full of sorrows as the sea of sands,
  • To bear me company and go with me:
  • If not, to hide what I have said to thee,
  • That I may venture to depart alone.
  • EGLAMOUR:

  • Madam, I pity much your grievances;
  • Which since I know they virtuously are placed,
  • I give consent to go along with you,
  • Recking as little what betideth me
  • As much I wish all good befortune you.
  • When will you go?
  • SILVIA:

  • This evening coming.
  • EGLAMOUR:

  • Where shall I meet you?
  • SILVIA:

  • At Friar Patrick's cell,
  • Where I intend holy confession.
  • EGLAMOUR:

  • I will not fail your ladyship. Good morrow, gentle lady.
  • SILVIA:

  • Good morrow, kind Sir Eglamour.
  • [Exeunt severally]

ACT IV, SCENE IV. The same.

[Enter LAUNCE, with his his Dog]

  • LAUNCE:

  • When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,
  • look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a
  • puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or
  • four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it.
  • I have taught him, even as one would say precisely,
  • 'thus I would teach a dog.' I was sent to deliver
  • him as a present to Mistress Silvia from my master;
  • and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber but he
  • steps me to her trencher and steals her capon's leg:
  • O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself
  • in all companies! I would have, as one should say,
  • one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be,
  • as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had
  • more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did,
  • I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I
  • live, he had suffered for't; you shall judge. He
  • thrusts me himself into the company of three or four
  • gentlemanlike dogs under the duke's table: he had
  • not been there--bless the mark!--a pissing while, but
  • all the chamber smelt him. 'Out with the dog!' says
  • one: 'What cur is that?' says another: 'Whip him
  • out' says the third: 'Hang him up' says the duke.
  • I, having been acquainted with the smell before,
  • knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that
  • whips the dogs: 'Friend,' quoth I, 'you mean to whip
  • the dog?' 'Ay, marry, do I,' quoth he. 'You do him
  • the more wrong,' quoth I; ''twas I did the thing you
  • wot of.' He makes me no more ado, but whips me out
  • of the chamber. How many masters would do this for
  • his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the
  • stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had
  • been executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese
  • he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't.
  • Thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, I remember the
  • trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam
  • Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I
  • do? when didst thou see me heave up my leg and make
  • water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst
  • thou ever see me do such a trick?
  • [Enter PROTEUS and JULIA]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well
  • And will employ thee in some service presently.
  • JULIA:

  • In what you please: I'll do what I can.
  • PROTEUS:

  • I hope thou wilt.
  • [To LAUNCE]

  • How now, you whoreson peasant!
  • Where have you been these two days loitering?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.
  • PROTEUS:

  • And what says she to my little jewel?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you
  • currish thanks is good enough for such a present.
  • PROTEUS:

  • But she received my dog?
  • LAUNCE:

  • No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him
  • back again.
  • PROTEUS:

  • What, didst thou offer her this from me?
  • LAUNCE:

  • Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by
  • the hangman boys in the market-place: and then I
  • offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of
  • yours, and therefore the gift the greater.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Go get thee hence, and find my dog again,
  • Or ne'er return again into my sight.
  • Away, I say! stay'st thou to vex me here?
  • [Exit LAUNCE]

  • A slave, that still an end turns me to shame!
  • Sebastian, I have entertained thee,
  • Partly that I have need of such a youth
  • That can with some discretion do my business,
  • For 'tis no trusting to yond foolish lout,
  • But chiefly for thy face and thy behavior,
  • Which, if my augury deceive me not,
  • Witness good bringing up, fortune and truth:
  • Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.
  • Go presently and take this ring with thee,
  • Deliver it to Madam Silvia:
  • She loved me well deliver'd it to me.
  • JULIA:

  • It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
  • She is dead, belike?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Not so; I think she lives.
  • JULIA:

  • Alas!
  • PROTEUS:

  • Why dost thou cry 'alas'?
  • JULIA:

  • I cannot choose
  • But pity her.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?
  • JULIA:

  • Because methinks that she loved you as well
  • As you do love your lady Silvia:
  • She dreams of him that has forgot her love;
  • You dote on her that cares not for your love.
  • 'Tis pity love should be so contrary;
  • And thinking of it makes me cry 'alas!'
  • PROTEUS:

  • Well, give her that ring and therewithal
  • This letter. That's her chamber. Tell my lady
  • I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.
  • Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
  • Where thou shalt find me, sad and solitary.
  • [Exit]

  • JULIA:

  • How many women would do such a message?
  • Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertain'd
  • A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.
  • Alas, poor fool! why do I pity him
  • That with his very heart despiseth me?
  • Because he loves her, he despiseth me;
  • Because I love him I must pity him.
  • This ring I gave him when he parted from me,
  • To bind him to remember my good will;
  • And now am I, unhappy messenger,
  • To plead for that which I would not obtain,
  • To carry that which I would have refused,
  • To praise his faith which I would have dispraised.
  • I am my master's true-confirmed love;
  • But cannot be true servant to my master,
  • Unless I prove false traitor to myself.
  • Yet will I woo for him, but yet so coldly
  • As, heaven it knows, I would not have him speed.
  • [Enter SILVIA, attended]

  • Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean
  • To bring me where to speak with Madam Silvia.
  • SILVIA:

  • What would you with her, if that I be she?
  • JULIA:

  • If you be she, I do entreat your patience
  • To hear me speak the message I am sent on.
  • SILVIA:

  • From whom?
  • JULIA:

  • From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.
  • SILVIA:

  • O, he sends you for a picture.
  • JULIA:

  • Ay, madam.
  • SILVIA:

  • Ursula, bring my picture here.
  • Go give your master this: tell him from me,
  • One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
  • Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.
  • JULIA:

  • Madam, please you peruse this letter.--
  • Pardon me, madam; I have unadvised
  • Deliver'd you a paper that I should not:
  • This is the letter to your ladyship.
  • SILVIA:

  • I pray thee, let me look on that again.
  • JULIA:

  • It may not be; good madam, pardon me.
  • SILVIA:

  • There, hold!
  • I will not look upon your master's lines:
  • I know they are stuff'd with protestations
  • And full of new-found oaths; which he will break
  • As easily as I do tear his paper.
  • JULIA:

  • Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.
  • SILVIA:

  • The more shame for him that he sends it me;
  • For I have heard him say a thousand times
  • His Julia gave it him at his departure.
  • Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
  • Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.
  • JULIA:

  • She thanks you.
  • SILVIA:

  • What say'st thou?
  • JULIA:

  • I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
  • Poor gentlewoman! my master wrongs her much.
  • SILVIA:

  • Dost thou know her?
  • JULIA:

  • Almost as well as I do know myself:
  • To think upon her woes I do protest
  • That I have wept a hundred several times.
  • SILVIA:

  • Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.
  • JULIA:

  • I think she doth; and that's her cause of sorrow.
  • SILVIA:

  • Is she not passing fair?
  • JULIA:

  • She hath been fairer, madam, than she is:
  • When she did think my master loved her well,
  • She, in my judgment, was as fair as you:
  • But since she did neglect her looking-glass
  • And threw her sun-expelling mask away,
  • The air hath starved the roses in her cheeks
  • And pinch'd the lily-tincture of her face,
  • That now she is become as black as I.
  • SILVIA:

  • How tall was she?
  • JULIA:

  • About my stature; for at Pentecost,
  • When all our pageants of delight were play'd,
  • Our youth got me to play the woman's part,
  • And I was trimm'd in Madam Julia's gown,
  • Which served me as fit, by all men's judgments,
  • As if the garment had been made for me:
  • Therefore I know she is about my height.
  • And at that time I made her weep agood,
  • For I did play a lamentable part:
  • Madam, 'twas Ariadne passioning
  • For Theseus' perjury and unjust flight;
  • Which I so lively acted with my tears
  • That my poor mistress, moved therewithal,
  • Wept bitterly; and would I might be dead
  • If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!
  • SILVIA:

  • She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.
  • Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!
  • I weep myself to think upon thy words.
  • Here, youth, there is my purse; I give thee this
  • For thy sweet mistress' sake, because thou lovest her.
  • Farewell.
  • [Exit SILVIA, with attendants]

  • JULIA:

  • And she shall thank you for't, if e'er you know her.
  • A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful
  • I hope my master's suit will be but cold,
  • Since she respects my mistress' love so much.
  • Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
  • Here is her picture: let me see; I think,
  • If I had such a tire, this face of mine
  • Were full as lovely as is this of hers:
  • And yet the painter flatter'd her a little,
  • Unless I flatter with myself too much.
  • Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow:
  • If that be all the difference in his love,
  • I'll get me such a colour'd periwig.
  • Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine:
  • Ay, but her forehead's low, and mine's as high.
  • What should it be that he respects in her
  • But I can make respective in myself,
  • If this fond Love were not a blinded god?
  • Come, shadow, come and take this shadow up,
  • For 'tis thy rival. O thou senseless form,
  • Thou shalt be worshipp'd, kiss'd, loved and adored!
  • And, were there sense in his idolatry,
  • My substance should be statue in thy stead.
  • I'll use thee kindly for thy mistress' sake,
  • That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
  • I should have scratch'd out your unseeing eyes
  • To make my master out of love with thee!
  • [Exit]

ACT V

ACT V, SCENE I. Milan. An abbey.

[Enter EGLAMOUR]

  • EGLAMOUR:

  • The sun begins to gild the western sky;
  • And now it is about the very hour
  • That Silvia, at Friar Patrick's cell, should meet me.
  • She will not fail, for lovers break not hours,
  • Unless it be to come before their time;
  • So much they spur their expedition.
  • See where she comes.
  • [Enter SILVIA]

  • Lady, a happy evening!
  • SILVIA:

  • Amen, amen! Go on, good Eglamour,
  • Out at the postern by the abbey-wall:
  • I fear I am attended by some spies.
  • EGLAMOUR:

  • Fear not: the forest is not three leagues off;
  • If we recover that, we are sure enough.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT V, SCENE II. The same. The DUKE's palace.

[Enter THURIO, PROTEUS, and JULIA]

  • THURIO:

  • Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit?
  • PROTEUS:

  • O, sir, I find her milder than she was;
  • And yet she takes exceptions at your person.
  • THURIO:

  • What, that my leg is too long?
  • PROTEUS:

  • No; that it is too little.
  • THURIO:

  • I'll wear a boot, to make it somewhat rounder.
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • But love will not be spurr'd to what
  • it loathes.
  • THURIO:

  • What says she to my face?
  • PROTEUS:

  • She says it is a fair one.
  • THURIO:

  • Nay then, the wanton lies; my face is black.
  • PROTEUS:

  • But pearls are fair; and the old saying is,
  • Black men are pearls in beauteous ladies' eyes.
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • 'Tis true; such pearls as put out
  • ladies' eyes;
  • For I had rather wink than look on them.
  • THURIO:

  • How likes she my discourse?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Ill, when you talk of war.
  • THURIO:

  • But well, when I discourse of love and peace?
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • But better, indeed, when you hold your peace.
  • THURIO:

  • What says she to my valour?
  • PROTEUS:

  • O, sir, she makes no doubt of that.
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • She needs not, when she knows it cowardice.
  • THURIO:

  • What says she to my birth?
  • PROTEUS:

  • That you are well derived.
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • True; from a gentleman to a fool.
  • THURIO:

  • Considers she my possessions?
  • PROTEUS:

  • O, ay; and pities them.
  • THURIO:

  • Wherefore?
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • That such an ass should owe them.
  • PROTEUS:

  • That they are out by lease.
  • JULIA:

  • Here comes the duke.
  • [Enter DUKE]

  • DUKE:

  • How now, Sir Proteus! how now, Thurio!
  • Which of you saw Sir Eglamour of late?
  • THURIO:

  • Not I.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Nor I.
  • DUKE:

  • Saw you my daughter?
  • PROTEUS:

  • Neither.
  • DUKE:

  • Why then,
  • She's fled unto that peasant Valentine;
  • And Eglamour is in her company.
  • 'Tis true; for Friar Laurence met them both,
  • As he in penance wander'd through the forest;
  • Him he knew well, and guess'd that it was she,
  • But, being mask'd, he was not sure of it;
  • Besides, she did intend confession
  • At Patrick's cell this even; and there she was not;
  • These likelihoods confirm her flight from hence.
  • Therefore, I pray you, stand not to discourse,
  • But mount you presently and meet with me
  • Upon the rising of the mountain-foot
  • That leads towards Mantua, whither they are fled:
  • Dispatch, sweet gentlemen, and follow me.
  • [Exit]

  • THURIO:

  • Why, this it is to be a peevish girl,
  • That flies her fortune when it follows her.
  • I'll after, more to be revenged on Eglamour
  • Than for the love of reckless Silvia.
  • [Exit]

  • PROTEUS:

  • And I will follow, more for Silvia's love
  • Than hate of Eglamour that goes with her.
  • [Exit]

  • JULIA:

  • And I will follow, more to cross that love
  • Than hate for Silvia that is gone for love.
  • [Exit]

ACT V, SCENE III. The frontiers of Mantua. The forest.

[Enter Outlaws with SILVIA]

  • First Outlaw:

  • Come, come,
  • Be patient; we must bring you to our captain.
  • SILVIA:

  • A thousand more mischances than this one
  • Have learn'd me how to brook this patiently.
  • Second Outlaw:

  • Come, bring her away.
  • First Outlaw:

  • Where is the gentleman that was with her?
  • Third Outlaw:

  • Being nimble-footed, he hath outrun us,
  • But Moyses and Valerius follow him.
  • Go thou with her to the west end of the wood;
  • There is our captain: we'll follow him that's fled;
  • The thicket is beset; he cannot 'scape.
  • First Outlaw:

  • Come, I must bring you to our captain's cave:
  • Fear not; he bears an honourable mind,
  • And will not use a woman lawlessly.
  • SILVIA:

  • O Valentine, this I endure for thee!
  • [Exeunt]

ACT V, SCENE IV. Another part of the forest.

[Enter VALENTINE]

  • VALENTINE:

  • How use doth breed a habit in a man!
  • This shadowy desert, unfrequented woods,
  • I better brook than flourishing peopled towns:
  • Here can I sit alone, unseen of any,
  • And to the nightingale's complaining notes
  • Tune my distresses and record my woes.
  • O thou that dost inhabit in my breast,
  • Leave not the mansion so long tenantless,
  • Lest, growing ruinous, the building fall
  • And leave no memory of what it was!
  • Repair me with thy presence, Silvia;
  • Thou gentle nymph, cherish thy forlorn swain!
  • What halloing and what stir is this to-day?
  • These are my mates, that make their wills their law,
  • Have some unhappy passenger in chase.
  • They love me well; yet I have much to do
  • To keep them from uncivil outrages.
  • Withdraw thee, Valentine: who's this comes here?
  • [Enter PROTEUS, SILVIA, and JULIA]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Madam, this service I have done for you,
  • Though you respect not aught your servant doth,
  • To hazard life and rescue you from him
  • That would have forced your honour and your love;
  • Vouchsafe me, for my meed, but one fair look;
  • A smaller boon than this I cannot beg
  • And less than this, I am sure, you cannot give.
  • VALENTINE:

  • [Aside]

  • How like a dream is this I see and hear!
  • Love, lend me patience to forbear awhile.
  • SILVIA:

  • O miserable, unhappy that I am!
  • PROTEUS:

  • Unhappy were you, madam, ere I came;
  • But by my coming I have made you happy.
  • SILVIA:

  • By thy approach thou makest me most unhappy.
  • JULIA:

  • [Aside]

  • And me, when he approacheth to your presence.
  • SILVIA:

  • Had I been seized by a hungry lion,
  • I would have been a breakfast to the beast,
  • Rather than have false Proteus rescue me.
  • O, Heaven be judge how I love Valentine,
  • Whose life's as tender to me as my soul!
  • And full as much, for more there cannot be,
  • I do detest false perjured Proteus.
  • Therefore be gone; solicit me no more.
  • PROTEUS:

  • What dangerous action, stood it next to death,
  • Would I not undergo for one calm look!
  • O, 'tis the curse in love, and still approved,
  • When women cannot love where they're beloved!
  • SILVIA:

  • When Proteus cannot love where he's beloved.
  • Read over Julia's heart, thy first best love,
  • For whose dear sake thou didst then rend thy faith
  • Into a thousand oaths; and all those oaths
  • Descended into perjury, to love me.
  • Thou hast no faith left now, unless thou'dst two;
  • And that's far worse than none; better have none
  • Than plural faith which is too much by one:
  • Thou counterfeit to thy true friend!
  • PROTEUS:

  • In love
  • Who respects friend?
  • SILVIA:

  • All men but Proteus.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Nay, if the gentle spirit of moving words
  • Can no way change you to a milder form,
  • I'll woo you like a soldier, at arms' end,
  • And love you 'gainst the nature of love,--force ye.
  • SILVIA:

  • O heaven!
  • PROTEUS:

  • I'll force thee yield to my desire.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Ruffian, let go that rude uncivil touch,
  • Thou friend of an ill fashion!
  • PROTEUS:

  • Valentine!
  • VALENTINE:

  • Thou common friend, that's without faith or love,
  • For such is a friend now; treacherous man!
  • Thou hast beguiled my hopes; nought but mine eye
  • Could have persuaded me: now I dare not say
  • I have one friend alive; thou wouldst disprove me.
  • Who should be trusted, when one's own right hand
  • Is perjured to the bosom? Proteus,
  • I am sorry I must never trust thee more,
  • But count the world a stranger for thy sake.
  • The private wound is deepest: O time most accurst,
  • 'Mongst all foes that a friend should be the worst!
  • PROTEUS:

  • My shame and guilt confounds me.
  • Forgive me, Valentine: if hearty sorrow
  • Be a sufficient ransom for offence,
  • I tender 't here; I do as truly suffer
  • As e'er I did commit.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Then I am paid;
  • And once again I do receive thee honest.
  • Who by repentance is not satisfied
  • Is nor of heaven nor earth, for these are pleased.
  • By penitence the Eternal's wrath's appeased:
  • And, that my love may appear plain and free,
  • All that was mine in Silvia I give thee.
  • JULIA:

  • O me unhappy!
  • [Swoons]

  • PROTEUS:

  • Look to the boy.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Why, boy! why, wag! how now! what's the matter?
  • Look up; speak.
  • JULIA:

  • O good sir, my master charged me to deliver a ring
  • to Madam Silvia, which, out of my neglect, was never done.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Where is that ring, boy?
  • JULIA:

  • Here 'tis; this is it.
  • PROTEUS:

  • How! let me see:
  • Why, this is the ring I gave to Julia.
  • JULIA:

  • O, cry you mercy, sir, I have mistook:
  • This is the ring you sent to Silvia.
  • PROTEUS:

  • But how camest thou by this ring? At my depart
  • I gave this unto Julia.
  • JULIA:

  • And Julia herself did give it me;
  • And Julia herself hath brought it hither.
  • PROTEUS:

  • How! Julia!
  • JULIA:

  • Behold her that gave aim to all thy oaths,
  • And entertain'd 'em deeply in her heart.
  • How oft hast thou with perjury cleft the root!
  • O Proteus, let this habit make thee blush!
  • Be thou ashamed that I have took upon me
  • Such an immodest raiment, if shame live
  • In a disguise of love:
  • It is the lesser blot, modesty finds,
  • Women to change their shapes than men their minds.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Than men their minds! 'tis true.
  • O heaven! were man
  • But constant, he were perfect. That one error
  • Fills him with faults; makes him run through all the sins:
  • Inconstancy falls off ere it begins.
  • What is in Silvia's face, but I may spy
  • More fresh in Julia's with a constant eye?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Come, come, a hand from either:
  • Let me be blest to make this happy close;
  • 'Twere pity two such friends should be long foes.
  • PROTEUS:

  • Bear witness, Heaven, I have my wish for ever.
  • JULIA:

  • And I mine.
  • [Enter Outlaws, with DUKE and THURIO]

  • Outlaws:

  • A prize, a prize, a prize!
  • VALENTINE:

  • Forbear, forbear, I say! it is my lord the duke.
  • Your grace is welcome to a man disgraced,
  • Banished Valentine.
  • DUKE:

  • Sir Valentine!
  • THURIO:

  • Yonder is Silvia; and Silvia's mine.
  • VALENTINE:

  • Thurio, give back, or else embrace thy death;
  • Come not within the measure of my wrath;
  • Do not name Silvia thine; if once again,
  • Verona shall not hold thee. Here she stands;
  • Take but possession of her with a touch:
  • I dare thee but to breathe upon my love.
  • THURIO:

  • Sir Valentine, I care not for her, I;
  • I hold him but a fool that will endanger
  • His body for a girl that loves him not:
  • I claim her not, and therefore she is thine.
  • DUKE:

  • The more degenerate and base art thou,
  • To make such means for her as thou hast done
  • And leave her on such slight conditions.
  • Now, by the honour of my ancestry,
  • I do applaud thy spirit, Valentine,
  • And think thee worthy of an empress' love:
  • Know then, I here forget all former griefs,
  • Cancel all grudge, repeal thee home again,
  • Plead a new state in thy unrivall'd merit,
  • To which I thus subscribe: Sir Valentine,
  • Thou art a gentleman and well derived;
  • Take thou thy Silvia, for thou hast deserved her.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I thank your grace; the gift hath made me happy.
  • I now beseech you, for your daughter's sake,
  • To grant one boom that I shall ask of you.
  • DUKE:

  • I grant it, for thine own, whate'er it be.
  • VALENTINE:

  • These banish'd men that I have kept withal
  • Are men endued with worthy qualities:
  • Forgive them what they have committed here
  • And let them be recall'd from their exile:
  • They are reformed, civil, full of good
  • And fit for great employment, worthy lord.
  • DUKE:

  • Thou hast prevail'd; I pardon them and thee:
  • Dispose of them as thou know'st their deserts.
  • Come, let us go: we will include all jars
  • With triumphs, mirth and rare solemnity.
  • VALENTINE:

  • And, as we walk along, I dare be bold
  • With our discourse to make your grace to smile.
  • What think you of this page, my lord?
  • DUKE:

  • I think the boy hath grace in him; he blushes.
  • VALENTINE:

  • I warrant you, my lord, more grace than boy.
  • DUKE:

  • What mean you by that saying?
  • VALENTINE:

  • Please you, I'll tell you as we pass along,
  • That you will wonder what hath fortuned.
  • Come, Proteus; 'tis your penance but to hear
  • The story of your loves discovered:
  • That done, our day of marriage shall be yours;
  • One feast, one house, one mutual happiness.
  • [Exeunt]